Television, you may have heard, is really bad for you.
Really, really bad.
I'm one of those douchebags that isn't all that fond of TV. I don't own a TV, but I do have a favorite TV show.
COPS is the best TV show ever. 'COPS' utilizes the medium of television to it's full potential, allowing the viewer to indulge in cheaply produced recreational propaganda. The first reality TV show, 'COPS' shines only brighter with the passage of time, as none of it's competitors has ever so simply and skillfully catered to our short attention spans and intellectual laziness. The show does not focus on a single individual or even a single locale, but rather a number of precincts and people all over the United States. From the beer can strewn lawns of Florida trailer parks to the austere beauty of Alaskan methamphetamine labs, 'COPS' has painted a multifaceted portrait of America over the years that reflects the variability of our landscape and our people. Each episode takes this common language, this love of idiocy, and with the skilfully interspersed commercial breaks culminates in a brain softening half hour of the Man subduing shirtless drunks.
'COPS' has honestly enriched my life; observing my fellow Americans from this unique vantage point has brought me great joy over the years. My favorite episodes are like dear friends... The obese woman who tied up the man stealing her phone line, the man driving a pick up with a joint behind his ear, the trucker wearing makeup and a leotard with fishnet stockings who had his wallet stolen by a prostitute... In my life, I've loved them all.
In summation, as long as you're gonna watch TV, do it right.